Why did my Christian loved one not share the Gospel with me when I was unsaved?


by Shawn Brasseaux

First Corinthians 15:3-4 says: “For I delivered unto you first of all that which I also received, how that Christ died for our sins according to the scriptures; And that he was buried, and that he rose again the third day according to the scriptures.” This is “the Gospel of the Grace of God” (Acts 20:24). As grace believers, we know it and trust it. But, why did we not hear this earlier from Christian loved ones?

We have encountered this question more than once. Perhaps, dear friend, it is true of you and it has bothered you for such a long time. Undoubtedly, it is quite a troubling matter, and you need peace about it. Assuming that you have trusted Jesus Christ as your personal Saviour, maybe you look back in time to when you were a lost person. Perhaps you recall Christian relatives and friends who never shared the Gospel with you. If they were saved, why did they never tell you how to be saved (have your sins forgiven and a home in Heaven)? Did they not care enough about you to share the Gospel of Grace with you? Were they apathetic that you were headed to that fiery eternal destination of the Devil and his angels? How could they be so unloving?

This author cannot answer those questions, as they (and God) alone know what was in their heart. We should give them the benefit of the doubt, that there was no ill will on their part. We will assume that they loved and cared for you, and they wanted you to go to Heaven, but had great difficulties they (sadly) never overcame. Their flesh was in control, rather than the indwelling Holy Spirit. If they are gone on to Heaven, then let it go, dear Christian friend. Put it under the blood of Christ. It will never be an issue when you meet them again in the third heaven. If they are alive, still here on Earth, forgive them anyway. Put it under the blood of Christ. Leave it be. Rejoice that you are now saved, and they are saved.

Now, we will address your question. Three reasons (though there may be more) can be offered as to why Christian loved ones did not share the Gospel of Grace with you when you were a lost person. This article will delineate those explanations.


Unfortunately, this is where so many Christians are. They should be teachers, but have yet to grasp even the most basic ideas of Christianity. Religious tradition has so warped their minds. They are spiritually immature because they have not followed God’s design for the edification of the believer. They cannot function according to God’s grace, for they have not concentrated on the Pauline epistles, Romans through Philemon. They are too afraid to approach anyone because they have not become skilled in God’s Word.

The nation Israel was in a similar, pathetic predicament. She was utterly clueless concerning God’s Word to her, and thus was unable to share those truths with the Gentiles (nations). There are many in the Church the Body of Christ who have never learned this most tragic lesson from Israel’s ancient history.

The Book of Hebrews, chapter 5, says of Israel: “[11] Of whom we have many things to say, and hard to be uttered, seeing ye are dull of hearing. [12] For when for the time ye ought to be teachers, ye have need that one teach you again which be the first principles of the oracles of God; and are become such as have need of milk, and not of strong meat. [13] For every one that useth milk is unskilful in the word of righteousness: for he is a babe. [14] But strong meat belongeth to them that are of full age, even those who by reason of use have their senses exercised to discern both good and evil.”

The solution to being ignorant of the Gospel of Grace is to go read Romans chapters 1-5 in the Bible. This is your greatest asset in not repeating their mistakes!!


This can be called “pursuing the evangelistic lifestyle.” The idea here is not to be express or direct in sharing the Gospel of Grace. They refused to admonish or offend unsaved relatives participating in the sins of the flesh (worldliness) and/or the sins of the spirit (religion). They wanted “peace in the family,” even if it meant not sharing the Gospel. While there is some sincerity here, it is still no excuse for being silent about the Gospel.

We should encourage all to come to God by grace alone through faith alone in Christ alone, but they do oftentimes refuse. It is then that we should stop, or we run the risk of forcing it on them and denying them of free will. At this point, then we should just let them see our Christian conduct. However, the “allow-them-to-see-Christ-living-in-you” approach should be used only as the last resort. We should attempt to verbally share the Gospel with them first, and then (and only then) if they refuse to hear, at least they can see Christ living in us. But, to just approach them on the basis of “evangelistic living,” God has not called us to do that. Second Timothy 4:2 says, “Preach the word!” It is not enough just to “live” the Gospel. We must share it with words!! Preach the Gospel!!

After all, remember, the world religions have their “holy living.” Unless you speak the words of the living God, salvation verses, people will not know the name of Jesus Christ. They cannot know Him or what He did for them at Calvary unless we speak up! We can live a good life, but unless we share in words the Gospel of Grace that underlies that life, our good life may appear as nothing but self-righteousness. There must be a clear Gospel preached too! Preach the Word!!!


Frankly, this is nothing but laziness on the Christian’s part. Christians do not want to share the Bible, especially the Gospel, because they refuse to step out of their comfort zone. It is “too much work” to lead a lost soul to Christ. They would rather let someone else do it—namely, the preacher. They take people to church buildings for people at church to share the Gospel. This is sad to say, but it is true, even of genuine Christians. They simply do not understand (but we hope they do care) the gravity of the situation: their unsaved loved ones are ever so close to instantly dying and passing off into a lost eternity! Alas, it too requires “too much effort” to spend even five minutes turning pages of the Bible to present a clear Gospel message to a soul hanging by a mere thread over the eternal flames of a holy God’s righteous judgment against sin!!!


Dear Christian friends, may we be skilled in presenting the Gospel of Grace (Romans chapters 1-5)!

May we be bold in sharing that Gospel of Grace with words… even if it means upsetting loved ones!

May we be faithful in proclaiming that Gospel of Grace ourselves, knowing that it is the most serious matter in all the universe!

There is no excuse for ignorance! There is no excuse for shyness! There is no excuse for lethargy! Learn from these mistakes! Do not repeat them!

Also see:
» How long should I keep witnessing to the same person?
» Can we witness “too much” to family members?
» Should we hate the denominational people who misled us?